he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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