Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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