i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
