Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
