i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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