I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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