i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
