take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It was confusing and full of hummus
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize