Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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