If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have tasted many bathrooms
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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