I just made out with a guy for $7.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize