Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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