Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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