it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize