I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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