i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
