We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
