Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize