i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I need a beard to bite.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
