i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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