My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
