what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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