I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize