Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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