lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
