Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
