dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
