After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
