i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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