i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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