Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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