Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I forget how to act sober
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