if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
