We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
