Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
