Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
