Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
