So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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