My room smells like vodka and shame
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
