Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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