i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize