Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How drunk are you?
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