if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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