so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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