I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
