Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize