The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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