omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
