Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
