But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
