just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
