who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Everyone says I win the strip club
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
