At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
