How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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