Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
