another moral hangover. fuck.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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