I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
