god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
