allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
