I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
