Do you still have your period?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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