i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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